I am always amazed at the transformative power…
of a simple conversation about issues. On one level, counseling is quite simple but also complex at the same time. It is a combination of honesty, skillful thinking, and emotional connection. Couples’ counseling is an excellent example of the simple and complex. We know from research that the most important element in long term relationships is the friendship factor where both people feel a deep emotional connection. Sounds simple, right? Why can’t we just be nice to each other? The answer to that question plunges us immediately into the complex nature of human beings: their hopes, desires, and personal problems.
One spouse may be depressed or struggling with an addiction such as alcoholism. In another case, an affair has taken place which has rocked the relationship to its core. Also, do not discount the effects of the daily stresses of modern life such as career vs. family, long commutes to the office, and the intrusive challenges of cell phones, social media, and the internet.
All of these things can erode the important relationships in our lives. Counseling can be a place of refuge where we stop the distractions all around us and focus on making positive and permanent change
A number of years ago, I wrote a book, The Labyrinth of Shame, which is a study in how guilt and shame can paralyze a person, keeping them stuck year after year with the same problems. Dr. Menninger, one of America’s most famous psychiatrists once wrote, “If I could convince my patients that their sins were forgiven, three-fourths could leave the hospital today.” I completely agree. Shame over the past is a potent force that fuels so many of our unhealthy behaviors.
Therapy is a good place to begin that healing. Life will never be perfect, but it can get a whole lot better. My commitment to you, as a counselor, is to walk with you so that we together can find the upward path toward a healthier spiritual, psychological, and even physical life. You are not in this alone.